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Tasks: Avoid Wordiness and Redundancy

A woman is typing on her computer while letters fly around her. Photo.
Bilete: Shutterstock, NTB / CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

Edit the sentences

Rewrite the following sentences to eliminate wordiness or redundancy. Make them as concise as possible.

  1. The poverty that exists in this city is unacceptable.

  2. During that time period, many car buyers preferred cars that were blue in colour and shiny in appearance.

  3. He dropped out of school on account of the fact that it was necessary for him to help support his family.

  4. It is expected that the new opening hours will be announced by the library within the next few days.

  5. The subjects that are considered most important by students are those that have been shown to be useful to them after graduation.

  6. It is very unusual to find someone who has never told a deliberate lie on purpose.

  7. The bookstore, which is situated in the local area, has very many customers as a result of its having a really wide selection of books and customer service that is friendly

  8. Ron cannot attend due to the fact that he is sick.

  9. The jacket I bought was too small in size.

Suggested answer

  1. The poverty in this city is unacceptable.

  2. During that period, many car buyers preferred blue, shiny cars.

  3. He dropped out of school to support his family.

  4. The library will probably announce its new opening hours within the next few days.

  5. Students think that the most important subjects are those that will be useful after graduation.

  6. Rarely will you find someone who has never told a deliberate lie.

  7. The local bookstore has many customers due to its wide selection of books and friendly customer service.

  8. Ron cannot attend because he is sick.

  9. The jacket I bought was too small.

Fill in

The first sentence in these sentence pairs contains a wordy phrase that can be reduced to only one word. Which word is it?

Write

The following five paragraphs are unnecessarily wordy and there are many words that could easily be removed without changing the meaning of the text. Are you able to simplify the language?

Illustration: A red speech bubble with the word 'wordy!' inside.
Bilete: Tone Hesjedal / CC BY-SA 4.0

  1. Consumers much like myself do not want to eat food that has been treated with pesticides because the thought of this practice is appalling and is coupled with potential health hazards that are through the roof.

  2. There are various factors that cause water pollution and similar problems that put everyone at a potential risk. These factors include: air pollution, agricultural farming, and fuel spill to name a few.

  3. Before the travel agent was able to completely finish explaining the various differences among all of the many very unique vacation packages his travel agency was offering, the customer changed her future plans.

  4. Globally, millions of people around the world suffer from and endure allergies. Many allergies are mild and insignificant and are no more than nuisances for the patient in question. However, some allergies also have a tendency to be life-threatening and potentially deadly.

  5. Your enquiry about the use of the entrance area of the library for the purpose of displaying posters and leaflets about welfare and supplementary benefit rights gives rise to the question of the provenance and authoritativeness of the material to be displayed. Posters and leaflets issued by the Central Office of Information, the Department of Health and Social Security and other authoritative bodies are usually displayed in libraries, but items of a disputatious or polemic kind, whilst not necessarily excluded, are considered on an individual basis.

Suggested answer:

I don't want food that has been treated with pesticides because I find the practice appalling, and because there are potential health hazards.

There are many things that cause water pollution, but the most important are air pollution, agricultural farming, and fuel spills.

Before the travel agent finished explaining the differences between the unique vacation packages his travel agency offered, the customer changed her plans.

Millions of people around the world suffer from allergies. Many allergies are mild while others can be life-threatening.

Thank you for your letter asking for permission to put up posters in the library. Before we can give you an answer we will need to see a copy of the posters to make sure they won't offend anyone.

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