Conflict Resolution
The Austrian economist Friedrich Glasl has written several books about conflict resolution. He designed a model to illustrate how conflicts escalate. This model is often referred to as the conflict staircase.
Several versions of the conflict staircase exist; Glasl mentions three levels and nine steps in his model:
On this level, the conflict may be relatively easily resolved by getting the two people who are in conflict to communicate and resolve their differences. This level is therefore often referred to as win-win, because there doesn't have to be a winner and a loser in the conflict.
Step 1: Tension
Two people disagree about something, and tension arises between them. The conflict is harmless. The issue can be talked about openly. They discuss and may yet be convinced of the validity of the other person's opinion.
Step 2: Debate
The two people present their side. They want to convince the other that they are right but are less interested in listening.
Step 3: Actions instead of words.
The people no longer talk to each other, but instead act based on their opinion. There is doubt that the conflict can be solved through talking.
The conflict has escalated. It becomes clear that there will be a winner and a loser in the conflict. This level is therefore often referred to as win-lose.
Step 4: Coalitions
The two people who are in conflict look for others to take their side and agree with them. The goal is not to resolve the original conflict but to win.
Step 5: Loss of face
The two people who are in conflict can no longer meet without attacking each other verbally. Feelings of intense dislike appear. Feelings of being under constant attack are common.
Step 6: Threats
The parties in the conflict exchange threats. If the other person does not change their mind and back down, they will be punished. These do not have to be threats of physical violence. If an employee is in conflict with a supervisor, it may for instance be threats of no longer being trusted with certain tasks. If it is in a group of friends, it may be threats of exclusion.
On this level the conflict has gotten so out of hand that there can no longer be any winners. Everyone has lost. This level is therefore often referred to as lose-lose.
Step 7: Limited destruction
Each person will accept that harm comes to them and their reputation, for as long as they are able to hurt the other in turn.
Step 8: Total annihilation
One or both parties seek to bring the other down using any method available.
Step 9: Into the abyss
On this level, people take measures they know will destroy themselves, but they do it to destroy the other person as well. An extreme version of this is suicide bombers.
The easiest point at which to de-escalate a conflict is at level one, ideally on the first step. However, it can be difficult to determine whether a conflict may get out of hand at this early stage. Helping people resolve their conflicts without anyone losing face is a sign of good leadership.
How can you contribute to resolving a conflict? As a parent, as a manager, as a friend, as a colleague you may be put in situations where you are expected to broker peace.
Don't ignore a conflict. If a conflict arises, it is important to take action as soon as possible.
What is the issue? Make sure you listen to both sides objectively, to clarify what has caused the conflict.
Encourage conversation. Bring the parties together to talk about the conflict.
Try to reach agreement about a solution to the conflict or offer your advice for a solution.
Monitor the situation to make sure the conflict does not flare up again or continue in new ways.