Wordiness and redundancy
Wordiness, or verbosity, is the use of more words – and often more complex words – than necessary to effectively convey meaning in speech or writing, and this is one of the greatest obstacles to clear writing and speaking. To get an idea of what we're talking about, look at the following three examples:
At this point in time, it now becomes necessary for us to consider alternative possibilities.
High-quality learning environments are a necessary precondition for facilitation and enhancement of the ongoing learning process.
If there are any points on which you require explanation or further particulars we shall be glad to furnish such additional details as may be required by telephone.
These sentences are too wordy and unclear, and there are several words that could be deleted or changed without affecting the meaning of the sentence. Before you move on, have a go and see how short you can make the three sentences without changing their meaning.
Suggested solution:
We now need to consider alternatives.
Children need good schools if they are to learn properly.
If you have any questions, please call.
One form of wordiness is redundancy. Redundancy in writing is the unnecessary repetition or duplication of words, phrases, sentences, ideas and information – anything that could be omitted without loss of significance or meaning. For example, have you ever received a free gift? Or perhaps you have met a famous celebrity? In these examples, the words 'free' and 'famous' are redundant – you can remove them without changing the meaning. Eliminating redundancy in your writing is a skill that you have to master if you want to communicate efficiently.
Here are a few examples of how you can make your writing clear and concise:
Eliminate words
We often use two or more words that mean the same thing in the same sentence. By eliminating these words, you would make the sentence more concise.
Which words could you eliminate in these sentences without changing the meaning?
What he says is a true fact.
There were dead corpses in the streets.
Let us collaborate together.
We are hopeful optimists.
The end result was good.
He was given a free gift at work.
They presented several new innovations.
She wrote an autobiography of her life
Suggested answers
Something that is true is also a fact, so you can drop the word 'fact' from the sentence without changing the meaning.
The word 'corpse' means dead body, so the word 'dead' is not needed here.
The word 'collaborate' means that two or more people work together , so the word 'together' is redundant.
To be an 'optimist' means to be hopeful and confident about the future; the word 'hopeful' is therefore not needed here.
A 'result' comes at the end of something, so the word 'end' may be left out.
If something costs money it is not a gift; therefore the word 'free' is redundant in this sentence.
The word 'innovation' means a new method, idea, or product; the word 'new' is therefore redundant.
The word 'autobiography' means an account of a person's life written by that person, so the sentence does not have to specify that it is about her life.
Avoid redundant adverbs
Adverbs are often the source of unnecessary redundancies, and you should be careful not to overuse them. If you choose a verb whose sense implies a way of performing an action, the adverb often feels redundant. In these sentences, you could easily remove the adverb without changing the meaning of the sentence:
He shouted loudly after her.
They raced hurriedly into the house.
She plodded slowly up the hill.
The spooked horse bolted hastily across the field.
She finished her meal completely.
He whispered softly into her ear.
They completely demolished the house.
If you feel that you have to use an adverb to describe the action in the sentences, the verb is often too weak and vague. If you are able to find a verb which is more descriptive instead, your writing will become more precise, and you will also get rid of redundant words.
These pairs of sentences are all correct, but the second sentence in each pair is stronger, shorter, and more precise.
Weak: She closed the door forcefully
Strong: She slammed the door.Weak: He moved swiftly.
Strong: He darted / sped / bolted / dashed …Weak: We studied the contract closely.
Strong: We scrutinised the contract.Weak: She hit him lightly on the head.
Strong: She tapped him on the head.
Eliminate wordy phrases:
Many writers believe that they have to use long and pretentious words and expressions to sound clever and in control of a topic. Very often, this has the opposite effect – too many words clutter your text. So, if you have the choice between using a wordy phrase or a single word, opt for the last one.
Here is a list of examples of wordy phrases that often can be reduced to one or two words:
along the lines of = like
as a matter of fact = in fact
at all times = always
as of lately = lately
at this point in time = now, currently
because of the fact that = because
by virtue of the fact that = because
due to the fact that = because
for the purpose of = for
for the reason that = because
have the ability to = be able to
in the nature of = like
in order to = to
in light of the fact = because
in spite of the fact that = although, though
in the event that = if
in the final analysis = finally
until such time as = until
Source:
Some examples taken from Plain English Campaign